Savannah Workout

Strength Training : Throw the furniture out the back door and light it on fire.

Cardio 3x/week : Break dishes on the patio while drinking.

Warmup : Jump off the roof into pool
Cooldown : Crossbow target practice with any remaining furniture.

Training Diet : Biscuits, BBQ sauce, gin, green tea.

I'm not mad at personal trainers, but I like working out by myself and don't understand why anyone would drop that kind of money on a person to harass them with medicine balls and motivational screams. But this is America, where we prefer to be forced to do things while pretending we meant to.

I watch telenovelas in the gym.