Whiskey Started, Maple Finished

"Never changed tho, I'm just a new version of old me."

Buttermilk Waffles

Enlightenment is like contact lenses. Even if you want to help, what made everything clear for you might not work for the next man. Or might just give him a headache and an infection.

Ogun the Ironworker

"I don’t particularly like the gringo people. They are boring and they all have faces like unbaked rolls."
-Frida Kahlo

Popov Premium

"McGovern¹ made some stupid mistakes but in context they seem almost frivolous compared to the things Richard Nixon² does every day of his life, on purpose as a perfect expression of his policy and everything he stands for."

-Hunter S Thompson, 1972

¹Obama
²Mitt Romney


Vote Trapublican.

Roxxy

You're not an "urban pioneer" if people already live where they're about to put your loft. You're just a Manifest Destiny junkie.

Kingston

"Mary Magdalene was one of Jesus' most celebrated disciples. She is famous because she is said to have been the first person to see Jesus after he rose from the dead.

Magdalene is the leader of a group of female disciples believed to have been present at the cross after the male disciples (excepting John the Beloved) had fled, and at his burial. Mary was a devoted follower of Jesus, entering into the close circle of those taught by Jesus during his Galilean ministry. She became prominent during the last days, accompanying Jesus during his travels and following him to the end. Mary Magdalene is referred to in early Christian writings as 'the apostle to the apostles.' In apocryphal texts, she is portrayed as a visionary and leader of the early movement, who was loved by Jesus more than the other disciples. Gnostic writings describe tensions and jealousy between Mary Magdalene and other disciples, especially Peter.

Simon Peter said to them: Let Mary go forth from among us, for women are not worthy of the life. Jesus said: Behold, I shall lead her, that I may make her male, in order that she also may become a living spirit like you males. For every woman who makes herself male shall enter into the kingdom of heaven.

There are many references to Mary Magdalene in the sacred writings of the Bahá'í Faith. Abdu'l-Bahá said that she was 'the channel of confirmation' to Jesus' disciples and the supreme example of how women are completely equal with men in the sight of God and can at times even exceed men in holiness and greatness."

"Woke up this mornin, got yoself a gun."

The strip club is the last refuge for Horatio Alger stans after we wrapped up the funeral for the American Dream.

Goon Wisdom #11

"The day you don't have it is the day you gon need it."

Goon Wisdom #10

"People think when they leave, the boat gon stop moving. The boat don't stop, man."

Goon Wisdom #9

"They tryna play big tough rapper now, but they shoulda been doin that in the hood. It's too late for that shit."

Goon Wisdom #8

"If you can't see small blessings, you missin big ones."

Effingham

Funniest GA Town Names

Enigma
Hickox
Quitman
Flovilla
Roopville
Moniac
Deepstep
Ball Ground
Lax
Climax
Unadilla
Fruitland
Needmore
Cumming
Plainville
Gumbranch
Baconton
Zebulon
Sasser
Ty Ty

I can laugh because parts of my DNA were in Georgia centuries before anybody sailed in wanting to name it after a European monarch with blue piss.

Goon Wisdom #7

"We gonna start piss testing employees. If your sample clean, you're fired."

Goon Wisdom #6

"Sometimes there'll be this sense of family with them and my people, but then something happens and you realize, damn. These people really don't give a shit about me."

Goon Wisdom #5

G1: "Those Cali people in the back geeked."
Cali guy: (walking into lobby) "WELL I'M GONNA GO I HAVE SOME BIZZLE TO TAKE KIZZLE!"
(Crickets)
(Leaves with tail between legs)
G2: "You know those tight pants makin him sterile."

Goon Wisdom #4

G: "Sun hadn't come up yet, it's gonna rain. That's babymaking weather! Don't wear a rubber when it rains."
"Man why you tryna make babies?"
G: "I'm gonna have some kids. I need something pure in my life like a baby girl. All y'all muthafuckas corrupted."

Goon Wisdom #3

"Zero bars don't come in King Size, baby."

Goon Wisdom #2

"I quit smoking because I thought I found the equation for the universe inside a Sprite bottle."

Goon Wisdom #1

"You know what China Brush is, baby? Google China Brush."

Oración de Rosas

Enjoy the come up, because it might be all you get.