Goon Wisdom #5

G1: "Those Cali people in the back geeked."
Cali guy: (walking into lobby) "WELL I'M GONNA GO I HAVE SOME BIZZLE TO TAKE KIZZLE!"
(Crickets)
(Leaves with tail between legs)
G2: "You know those tight pants makin him sterile."

Goon Wisdom #4

G: "Sun hadn't come up yet, it's gonna rain. That's babymaking weather! Don't wear a rubber when it rains."
"Man why you tryna make babies?"
G: "I'm gonna have some kids. I need something pure in my life like a baby girl. All y'all muthafuckas corrupted."

Goon Wisdom #3

"Zero bars don't come in King Size, baby."

Goon Wisdom #2

"I quit smoking because I thought I found the equation for the universe inside a Sprite bottle."

Goon Wisdom #1

"You know what China Brush is, baby? Google China Brush."